How to Use a Vibrator: Expert Tips on How to Use a Sex Toy

Experts weigh in on how to pick the best vibrator for you and how to use a vibrator, including product recommendations to how to clean your sex toys.
From which one to buy to how to clean it, we’re breaking it down step by step.
By Veronica LopezPublished: Aug 16, 2024 -
The Best App-Controlled Vibes for Your LDR
25 Best Sex Toys for Your Maximum Pleasure
LELO MIA 2$89 at LELO$49 at Target
Bedroom Kandi Rock It$22 at bedroomkandi.com
Tracey Cox Supersex Powerful Rechargeable Bullet Vibrator$55 at Lovehoney $89 at LELO$49 at Target $22 at bedroomkandi.com $55 at Lovehoney Using your hand, place the bullet vibrator somewhere externally—your clitoris, nipples, or anal opening, suggests Schuster. “Start out with a light pressure and listen to your body. If you feel like you need more, increase the pressure.” (For this, Howard recommends a bullet vibe with a finger strap or some kind of accessory to make it easier to hold.)
Pro Tip
If you’re coupled up, try using a bullet vibe with your SO. “These can be attached to special cock rings during partnered sex so that it stimulates the clitoris and vulva during penetration,” says sexuality coach Jennifer Doan. Alternatively, Howard suggests holding the bullet “under the chin while performing oral sex.”
Wand Massagers
Hitachi Magic Wand Rechargeable Extra Powerful Cordless VibratorNow 20% Off$150 $120 at newegg.com
Blush Nöje Fauna Pleasure Wand with AttachmentsNow 50% Off$60 $30 at PinkCherry
Unbound Ollie Wand Vibrator$76 at Revolve$76 at AmazonCredit: UnboundNow 20% Off $150 $120 at newegg.com Now 50% Off $60 $30 at PinkCherry $76 at Revolve$76 at Amazon Credit: UnboundWand massagers are the OG sex toy that you’re probably already familiar with if you watch porn (or if you’ve seen that episode of Sex and the City). And though its exterior might look rather intimidating, trust that this sex toy is a fan-favorite for a reason. “The wand massager is a classic, unisex device that doubles as a body massager and self-pleasure device,” says certified sexologist and pleasure coach Tyomi Morgan. “The wand is ergonomically designed to curve around the body, and is either rechargeable or runs on outlet power.”
How to Use a Wand Massager
Wand massagers “can be used to massage on and around genitals for arousal,” but if you want to build some foreplay into the mix, they can “also be used to help relax the muscles of any part of the body from tense shoulders to sore feet,” she adds.
Position is really the name of the game with a wand massager. You can choose to either lie down with your knees in butterfly position, or on all fours reaching back toward the clitoris, suggests Morgan. But if that’s not really working for you, don’t be afraid to get a little inventive! “Exploring new positions can expand your access to pleasure,” says Howard, who recommends wireless wands to “give you room to play.”
Pro Tip
Both Morgan and Howard agree, wand massagers should be used with water-based lube (yes, it’s important to use lube—even when you’re masturbating!) to protect silicone material. And don’t forget to take care of your vibrator. Morgan advises, “Just remember to give the device a rest every 15 minutes to prevent burnout.”
Remote Control Vibrators + Wearables
Fifty Shades of Grey Relentless Vibrations Remote Panty Vibrator$72 at Walmart$90 at Lovehoney
Lovehoney Rechargeable Remote Control Small Love Egg$55 at Lovehoney
Magic Motion FlamingoNow 18% Off$113 $93 at Babeland
Fifty Shades of Grey Relentless Vibrations Remote Panty Vibrator$72 at Walmart$90 at Lovehoney
Lovehoney Rechargeable Remote Control Small Love Egg$55 at Lovehoney
Magic Motion FlamingoNow 18% Off$113 $93 at Babeland $72 at Walmart$90 at Lovehoney $55 at Lovehoney Now 18% Off $113 $93 at Babeland These bbs are, well, pretty much exactly what they sound like: remote control vibrators. The variation of pulses, vibrations, and speeds are controlled either through a downloadable app or physical remotes. These can help couples
play together from a distance (ahem, all of you in LDRs), but they can also give you a bit more freedom during solo play. Vibrating panties also fall under this category.
How to Use a Wearable Vibrator
It depends on the type of wearable. Some wearable vibrators are meant to be inserted partially or completely (like egg vibrators), and others are made to turn any underwear into a pair of vibrating panties. Whatever type of wearable vibrator you’re using, if you plan on being vertical, Howard recommends wearing tight underwear to make sure the toy stays in place. “Not only will that help keep the vibe in place and hold it to your body for maximum stimulation, it will also muffle the buzz so you can wear it discreetly almost anywhere,” she says.
Pro Tip
If you have a thing for BDSM, try using these vibrators in a kinky Dom/sub role play, suggests Morgan. “The Dom holds the controls, and the sub wears the device, awaiting for the Dom to control their arousal and orgasmic peak.”
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Suction Vibrators
Satisfyer Satisfyer Pro 2+$41 at Amazon$49 at Adam & Eve$70 at satisfyer.comCredit: SatisfyerInya The Rose Rechargeable Suction VibeNow 50% Off$60 $30 at PinkCherry$58 at Babeland$64 at Good VibesCredit: LoversWomanizer Classic Rechargeable Clitoral Suction Stimulator$97 at Walmart$129 at LovehoneyCredit: lovehoney.com$41 at Amazon$49 at Adam & Eve$70 at satisfyer.com Credit: SatisfyerNow 50% Off $60 $30 at PinkCherry$58 at Babeland$64 at Good Vibes Credit: Lovers$97 at Walmart$129 at Lovehoney Credit: lovehoney.comThese vibrations simulate a sensation of pulling and sucking—similar to how it may feel when someone goes down on you. “Suction vibrators can be really fun, but it’s all about getting it in the right position,” says Schuster. “You may need to play around with it a bit before you find the sweet spot.”
How to Use a Suction Vibrator
Place the hollowed hole attached to it directly over the clitoris, says Doan. The suction cup stimulates the area on and around the clitoris, so the toy doesn’t require a ton of pressure. Adjust the vibration level and intensity to your liking as you continue to play around with it. “You may find that you only need to hover the toy in place to get the desired effect,” says Doan.
Howard, however, has a different approach. “You’ll have more fun if you explore the sides and top of the clitoris” before placing it directly over the clitoris. She also recommends using it on your/your partner’s nipples.
Pro Tip
Use the autopilot mode, if the toy has one. “You can benefit from the heightened pleasure of unpredictability, but you also don’t have to think about adjusting it manually. It also uses smart technology so that the pleasure air doesn’t begin until you press it against your skin,” says Jess O’Reilly, PhD, resident sexologist for Astroglide. If the sensation is too strong, Howard recommends “putting a scarf between you and the accessory, or maybe even keeping your underwear on.”
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Dual Massaging Vibrators
Dual Massaging Vibrators
Fifty Shades of Grey Greedy Girl G-Spot Rabbit Vibrator$62 at AmazonWonderlust Harmony Rabbit Vibrator$45 at Walmart$48 at She VibeCredit: WonderlustLelo EnigmaNow 30% Off$199 $139 at Amazon $62 at Amazon $45 at Walmart$48 at She Vibe Credit: WonderlustNow 30% Off $199 $139 at Amazon A dual-pronged, or “rabbit style” vibrator has two ends: one that inserts into the vagina and one that sits externally on top of the clitoris. “Typically, the shorter end stays outside the body, and the longer end sits inside,” says Doan.
How to Use a Dual Massaging Vibrator
Generally, these toys work the magic themselves, it’s getting them in the right position that’s the hard part. “The space between the vaginal opening and the clitoris is different for everybody, and it’s important to make sure that your vibe is in the right place for maximum pleasure,” Howard says. Once you’ve positioned each part (the longer end inside of you, shorter end on your clitoris or vulva), set the speed and intensity you like, then hold it in your hand or try rocking and rotating it, says Schuster.
Pro Tip
Lube can (and will!) totally enhance this experience for you. But if the dual pressure is too much for you, stick to one type at a time instead of internal and external pressure simultaneously, says O’Reilly.
Internal Vibrators
Svakom Cici Waterproof Silicone VibratorNow 15% Off$70 $59 at Babeland$50 at She Vibe
Tracy’s Dog Lina G Spot Vibrator$26 at WalmartCredit: Tracy’s Dog
Dame Arc$115 at Amazon$115 at Bloomingdale’s$125 at dame.com Now 15% Off $70 $59 at Babeland$50 at She Vibe $26 at Walmart Credit: Tracy’s Dog$115 at Amazon$115 at Bloomingdale’s$125 at dame.com The squishy, ridged area on the front wall of your vagina can feel really good when touched, and an internal vibrator was created specifically to stimulate that area, says Doan. These toys are typically curved, have a long handle, and vibrate at the tip, not the base.
How to Use an Internal Vibrator
Insert the vibrator inside of you and make sure the curved part is angled toward the belly button. “You can rock it, twist it, slide it in and out, or whatever feels good,” says Schuster. Howard adds that once the vibrator is hitting the right spot, “close your legs and cross your ankles for hands free fun.”
Pro Tip
“This kind of stimulation can feel like a large amount of pressure building up inside you and the pressing need to urinate. If you relax into those feelings, both orgasm and squirting is a possibility,” says Doan. Just remember, if you’re playing with a toy that might cause squirting, keep a folded towel handy. “Extra points for a puppy pad or splash blanket,” Howard adds.
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Anal Plug Vibrators
Evolved Novelties Adam & Eve’s Rechargeable Vibrating Anal Plug$61 at Walmart
b-Vibe Remote Control Rechargeable Vibrating Rimming Butt Plug$148 at Amazon$165 at b-vibe$160 at Lovehoney
X-Gen Frederick’s of Hollywood Vibrating Butt PlugNow 40% Off$20 $12 at PinkCherry
Evolved Novelties Adam & Eve’s Rechargeable Vibrating Anal Plug$61 at Walmart
b-Vibe Remote Control Rechargeable Vibrating Rimming Butt Plug$148 at Amazon$165 at b-vibe$160 at Lovehoney
X-Gen Frederick’s of Hollywood Vibrating Butt PlugNow 40% Off$20 $12 at PinkCherry $61 at Walmart $148 at Amazon$165 at b-vibe$160 at Lovehoney Now 40% Off $20 $12 at PinkCherry
How to Use an Anal Plug Vibrator
Insert the flared base gently by using a water-based lube or silicone-based lube (just not with toys made of silicone!). “The flared base ensures it stays in place comfortably, and the spirals on its neck makes removal easy after extended play,” says Morgan. If the pressure is too much, start with your fingers and build up to the toy. “Don’t be overzealous when deciding on what size plug to buy,” Howard says. “Start small and work your way up.” She also recommends using a remote controlled vibe so you don’t have to worry about setting it before you insert.
Pro Tip
For anal vibes, Howard likes to use a jelly lubricant instead of a regular liquid. “Jelly helps conduct the rumble and keep the butt plug in place,” she explains.
Another pro tip: Don’t forget to clean! “Use antibacterial toy cleaner or soap after play,” says Morgan, and remember: Do. Not. Double. Dip. What goes in the anal area should not be put anywhere vaginally, or else you could be at risk for UTIs or other annoying vaginal pains like yeast infections and bacterial vaginosis.
Cock Rings
Blush Stay Hard Silicone Double Loop Penis Ring$15 at Walmart$15 at blushvibe.comCredit: Blush
Nexus Forge Single Lasso Cock Ring$15 at Organic LovenCredit: NexusMaude Band 5-Speed Vibrating Ring$52 at maude$52 at NordstromCredit: Maude
Blush Stay Hard Silicone Double Loop Penis Ring$15 at Walmart$15 at blushvibe.comCredit: Blush
Nexus Forge Single Lasso Cock Ring$15 at Organic LovenCredit: NexusMaude Band 5-Speed Vibrating Ring$52 at maude$52 at NordstromCredit: Maude
$15 at Walmart$15 at blushvibe.com Credit: Blush$15 at Organic Loven Credit: Nexus$52 at maude$52 at Nordstrom Credit: Maude
How to Use a Cock Ring
Cock rings can do more than help maintain erections (by slowing down blood flow to the penis, which can make for longer, stronger erections). “These toys create a unique sensation for people with penises that is unlike using other sex toys,” says Engle. They often come with a buzzy raised base that can help vulva-owners with clitoral stimulation during penetration, and can help people with erectile issues feel more confident during sex. “If we’re less worried about staying hard, we’re more easily able to stay hard,” says Engle.
Pro Tip
Engle suggests using a high-quality water-based lube to help with comfort, placement, and ease of removal. Also, keep an eye on the time. “Don’t use a cock ring for more than 15 minutes or so, because you don’t want to restrict blood flow to any part of the body for extended periods of time,” she says. “If anything feels painful or numb, remove the ring as soon as possible.” Go for a fit that’s snug, but not too tight. Pleasure is the motive, not discomfort.
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Should You Buy a Vibrator?
Only you can decide whether or not you should buy a vibrator, but owning one has a lot of benefits. First, a good vibe can help you learn what’s most pleasurable for you, which will only benefit you in the long run. Second, a vibrator can (hopefully) lead to orgasms, which, yes, is extremely pleasurable, but also comes with a ton of surprising health perks, per Howard. “The health benefits of orgasms are endless. It lowers blood pressure, reduces headaches, improves sleep quality, and the list goes on.”
Only you can decide whether or not you should buy a vibrator, but owning one has a lot of benefits. First, a good vibe can help you learn what’s most pleasurable for you, which will only benefit you in the long run. Second, a vibrator can (hopefully) lead to orgasms, which, yes, is extremely pleasurable, but also comes with a ton of surprising health perks, per Howard. “The health benefits of orgasms are endless. It lowers blood pressure, reduces headaches, improves sleep quality, and the list goes on.”
How to Choose the Best Vibrator for You
When choosing the best vibrator for you, it’s important to think about what kind of pleasure sensation you enjoy. “Do you like internal pleasure or clitoral stimulation?” asks Howard. “How do you feel about butt stuff?” Or maybe you’re looking for a vibrator to help experiment with new sensations. Bottom line: the better you know yourself, the easier it’ll be to pick the best vibrator for you.
Do You Need to Clean Your Vibrators?
Short answer: Yes. Long answer: Absolutely yes because if you don’t, you risk shortening your vibrator’s shelf life, and, more importantly, you risk coming into contact with built-up bacteria. No thanks!
Engle recommends cleaning your sex toys after each and every use. Opt for a mild soap and warm water on a washcloth, “especially if you’re using it internally,” says Engle. There are also sex toy cleaners you can purchase for quick cleanups. “If you’re feeling lazy, you can use a vibrator over a blanket, underwear, or clothes eternally on the clitoris, and this can allow you to skip such frequent cleanings, as it isn’t coming into contact with any bodily fluids or skin. If you do want to use that same toy with a partner, however, clean it first.”
Meet the Experts
- Tyomi Morgan is a certified sexologist, pleasure coach, and intimacy coordinator. She is the founder of the Cowgirl Workout and the sex education blog Glamerotica101.
- Goody Howard is a sex educator and sexologist. She holds sexual education workshops, called RIDEology, with the aim of expanding society’s understanding of sexuality and health, and dishes out tips and tidbits on her website, AskGoody.com.
- Elise Schuster, MPH, is a sexuality educator and co-founder of Okayso, a personal Q&A app with experts specializing in sexuality, identity, and sex.
- Jennifer Doan is a sexuality coach and former host of the Taking Back Slut podcast.
- Gigi Engle is a certified sex and relationship psychotherapist and sex expert at the LGBTQIA+ dating app, Taimi.
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FAQ
Is it normal to bleed after using a vibrater?
Post coital bleeding can occur with discharge, itching, or irritation. PCB may occur just once as a single episode or may occur repeatedly. It can occur at any age with sexual penetrative intercourse or with using a sexual toy or vibrator.
What are the effects of a vibrator on the human body?
Vibration can cause changes in tendons, muscles, bones and joints, and can affect the nervous system. Collectively, these effects are known as hand-arm vibration syndrome.
Why does vibration feel so good?
Why does vibration feel so good? Vibration is inherently relaxing for most people, assuming it isn’t applied too suddenly or intensely or in an uncomfortable location.5 Nov 2024
What are the effects of a vibrator on the human body?
Vibration can cause changes in tendons, muscles, bones and joints, and can affect the nervous system. Collectively, these effects are known as hand-arm vibration syndrome.
Why does vibration feel so good?
Why does vibration feel so good? Vibration is inherently relaxing for most people, assuming it isn’t applied too suddenly or intensely or in an uncomfortable location.5 Nov 2024
Is it normal to bleed after using a vibrater?
Post coital bleeding can occur with discharge, itching, or irritation. PCB may occur just once as a single episode or may occur repeatedly. It can occur at any age with sexual penetrative intercourse or with using a sexual toy or vibrator.
DesireRead.com provides guides on using various vibrators, including bullet and rabbit types, to enhance your pleasure. Learn techniques and tips for maximizing your experience with these toys.
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